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teenage social media - Just a couple months ago my son Nathan, age 13, declared he wanted a FaceBook account. All of his buddies had one, and he wanted one, too.

After my stomach knotted a bit and that i said a silent prayer, I agreed he could open a FaceBook account, but explained to him there'd make sure "conditions."

Like all child these days, Nathan often concerns father and mother with requests because of this thing or that thing he absolutely can't do without. And that he always comes prepared with convincing arguments...why he craves a cellphone, the most recent gaming innovation, or some other 15 songs from iTunes.

His cases are strong, but my husband and I are united within our position that Nathan shouldn't get exactly what he wants. If he did, what would there be to appear toward, to be effective towards, to dream of? That's why Nathan does not have an XBox, PlayStation or Wii. He doesn't own a PSP rather than has already established a GameBoy.

All that being said, Nathan has always stood a computer. Starting at 3 years old having a kid's VTech computer purchased in ToysRUs, he's upgraded every several years for the latest, greatest, yet reasonable version...but the creme de la creme was his iMac he got for Christmas a year ago. He doesn't really miss out on a lot. He still grows to play games (only it's those designed for a computer), but in addition together with his computer he creates music using his guitar, records and enhances songs with GarageBand, adds original soundtracks to his own iMovies, and uses it to do his homework. Though not to excess, we encourage his computer interest.

Then when Nathan came to me along with his FaceBook request, I said "yes," albeit by incorporating trepidation. Similar to most parents, We have heard the stories about failures and knew the possibility danger the Internet and sites like Facebook might cause for a vulnerable teenager. But I'm also an advocate of informing and educating our kids in order they mature they can result in the right decisions for themselves. It is just that in-between time from child to young adult that's so perilous nowadays to cause us parents to visit gray, especially with a further chance of the web.

So that is why the "conditions." I told Nathan it absolutely was similar to driving a car. It might be foolish of me or his father at hand on the keys at 16 or 17 and expect him to function an automobile safely without correct training, instruction and guidance. The same holds true with the Internet and, in cases like this, creating a FaceBook account. There's things he needs to know to keep himself safe, to guard his privacy understanding that of his friends', and to comprehend the "ins and outs" of safe maneuvering via a teen's social media.

teenage social media - So what were these "conditions?"

1. The email that Nathan registered his FaceBook account with was one which I needed usage of. That meant anytime I possibly could enter into his account, take a look and make sure everything on his FaceBook met the "Mom and Dad Everything Looks Okay" test. Also, whatever was written on his wall stumbled on me via email notification.

2. He agreed to "Random FaceBook Reviews" where we'd question to take us through his account. We were holding meant to be instructional, basically fun, low-key reviews of the he shared in the profile, pictures (if any) he displayed, what was compiled by his friends on his Wall, bumper stickers he collected along with other things he could offer for view by his friends.

3. He could only "Friend" kids he knew, and simply no adults (except for his dad, me, and his awesome Aunt Carol).

4. The computer that he used could be positioned in a public spot inside our house and not as part of his room or behind a closed door.

We constantly adjust as things change like FaceBook updates and extra features, nevertheless the operative word the following is "we." It is a "family affair." Nathan knows that dad and mom are participating because we're most concerned with his safety rather than about wanting to catch him doing something wrong. Now, it's not always hanging around; we all do have conflicts, but the thing is that we keep the communication lines open.

And you know, I've seen some positive results with the FaceBook experience, also. The teenage years tend to be tough territory to maneuver...specially the early teens. You've got some teens maturing quickly, while others less. And it's hard...for both the children. But what I'm collecting with the messages along with other FaceBook dialog from Nathan's "friends," both children, is surely an ease in which they communicate through this medium...bypassing that awkwardness that individuals encountered as teens. Specialists Nathan with that, if FaceBook caused it to be much easier to talk to girls in order to other people he may not usually meet in his number of friends. He agreed it was a pressure-free, fun approach to speak with someone who he could not ordinarily feel safe conversing with.

FaceBook now offers a chance for all to customize their space, encouraging our kids to become creative and giving "friends" an overview into why is our children stand out. Finally, it possesses a backdrop on which to get instructional conversations with our kids. As an example, two to three weeks ago I was seeing some emails arriving that were not favorable towards a certain young female. I used it as being a learning opportunity, emphasizing empathy and reminding Nathan how he would n't need others to talk about him the way his friends were referring to this young daughter...an actual learning opportunity that without FaceBook we probably would have missed.

tommy jordan - And i'm penning this, Nathan has my office and asks, "Hey, mom, there is a funny bumper sticker about... (some marginally inappropriate saying). Any idea what? Can I place it through to my FaceBook? I believe it's hilarious!!

"Alright," I agree as I remind myself this is a predictable developmental milestone. I'm not really too old to remember what I was like at this age. Pick your battles, Susan, just pick your battles.